Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Feeling kinda crappy now probably because I have to return to hell in a couple of hours' time. Going back to camp is something I dread every other day especially Sundays. There's just too much emptiness there. It's cold, boring and a waste of time and youth. At this age, I should be getting educated, making life choices or better yet, non-stop partying. Yet, I'm stuck in this place of endless moodiness. It's tough, really.
Sometimes, it becomes easier to picture it in a different way - to see it like I'm working in the corporate world, and I'm basically on a two-year contract with MINDEF. Aside from the meagre pay and the need to stay-in which is ridiculous IMO, I actually have a mean boss, (sometimes) funny colleagues and work that seems more like a chore than a career. The shoe seems to fit right in here. I guess all I'm saying is is that I have so much to offer and I need an outlet to just unleash the energy and the what I'm doing now in the Army is not what I had in my mind.
Anyways, having spent very little time shopping for the past few weeks or so, I am really proud of myself for having controlled the urges to buy stuff. Yes, I've passed the cold turkey phase. I'm in complete control over myself and I will spend according to needs instead of wants which was oh-so hard.
Right now, I'm back to contemplating overseas education. But like I said earlier, I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up what I have here and fly a few thousand miles away just to get a degree. I'm considering Uni of Edinburgh which is all the way at Scotland. I did think of the States, the most fascinating country in the world, but it seems rather late to be taking my SATs now. UK seem like a more appropriate choice though I do love 'em Americans. I don't think I can even understand the damn Scottish accent. But when I think of all the fun and experience I will acquire in the next couple of years should I pursue my education there, I can't help but think how much difference that would make in my life. How much more would I see with my own eyes. And how much more exciting my social life would be. It's refreshing.
Old vs new. I simply can't decide. ¶ 8:15 PM
Sometimes, it becomes easier to picture it in a different way - to see it like I'm working in the corporate world, and I'm basically on a two-year contract with MINDEF. Aside from the meagre pay and the need to stay-in which is ridiculous IMO, I actually have a mean boss, (sometimes) funny colleagues and work that seems more like a chore than a career. The shoe seems to fit right in here. I guess all I'm saying is is that I have so much to offer and I need an outlet to just unleash the energy and the what I'm doing now in the Army is not what I had in my mind.
Anyways, having spent very little time shopping for the past few weeks or so, I am really proud of myself for having controlled the urges to buy stuff. Yes, I've passed the cold turkey phase. I'm in complete control over myself and I will spend according to needs instead of wants which was oh-so hard.
Right now, I'm back to contemplating overseas education. But like I said earlier, I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up what I have here and fly a few thousand miles away just to get a degree. I'm considering Uni of Edinburgh which is all the way at Scotland. I did think of the States, the most fascinating country in the world, but it seems rather late to be taking my SATs now. UK seem like a more appropriate choice though I do love 'em Americans. I don't think I can even understand the damn Scottish accent. But when I think of all the fun and experience I will acquire in the next couple of years should I pursue my education there, I can't help but think how much difference that would make in my life. How much more would I see with my own eyes. And how much more exciting my social life would be. It's refreshing.
Old vs new. I simply can't decide. ¶ 8:15 PM
