Message from TAIWAN:

Currently using I-net from camp. Haven't blogged for some time, thought I'd have something worthy to say.

Experience this time round is so different - different friends, job scope and grievances. HA. Nah, it ain't that bad, worse things could happen.

I got to thinking with all the spare time I had lingering ard: Does it pay off to be straightforward about our own feelings? Or are we better off being in the dark/ sugar-coating all the facts of life? Do we always have to say the truth even when we expect a certain degree of hurt that can be derived from the act of telling the truth itself? What if it's just our way of protecting ourselves from unnecessary damage? The contemporary belief is to just be open and speak your thoughts regardless of possible ramifications, because at least you can tell yourself you've tried and whatever comes next will not in any way, weigh you down i.e. the ball is in the other party's court. Not saying it out doesn't necessitate lying - it's just silence.

But when it comes to the matters of the heart, what are we expected to do; what are the guidelines? Here comes the nagging question of the Heart vs the Head. Can there be rational love? Or is it always inexplicably mysterious? Would one be tagged as unromantic if he/she used more logic in love than people'd expect? We all yearn for the crazy love that consumes us but how realistic is that? It's rare and so obscure that we learn to adapt to not having it altogether. Has this inevitably cut our romantic touch with other human beings? Being clear-headed probably would prevent us from committing stupid mistakes that we'll live to regret.

But I really do admire those who can muster the courage to be true with their feelings, take that leap of faith and be open about themselves. No expectations; just a need to be truthful. I haven't thought of doing anything like this and I'm guessing this is why I've been single all my life (thus far). Years of cynicism hasn't really completely diminished my optimism towards love, I still seek it though I know it's really hard for me to actually appreciate another person in my life. But I remain faithful. Hopeful even. Because I know when something as magical happens, I won't let myself down.  ¶ 11:17 PM 0 Comments

  In a mere few days time I'll be flying to Taiwan for 3 weeks. Really, I'm quite excited over this trip! Because I know I'll be having more fun than training this time. It's mandatory to overspend while on vacation cos that's the whole point of being overseas. Anyways, I'll be gone on Thursday morning and back on 1 May, and make it in time for my cousin's wedding.


I have been resting since Saturday and this had been a rather uneventful weekend. No plans, no dinner with friends, no shopping. Oh wait, scratch the last point, I did buy a pair of pants to fly in on Thur. No idea why there's this insistence on wearing pants while on flight. Nobody's going to really care, but damn, still I've got this pair of fantastic, classy grey Armani pants.

Oh and did I mention how bored I am? Well, I really am. My intention to visit the library was completely ruined by the rain this afternoon and since David Archuleta would be in Bugis tomorrow evening, I might as well drop by tomorrow to check out the American Idol finalist.

All I could do at home was laze on bed, eating chips, watching Sex and The City or Will & Grace. And then eventually, sleeping off the calories. It's a pain to admit that this isn't healthy but I really can't think of better things to do. My life is empty, with no drive and things to be occupied with. There's not even good bad TV to watch. Wonder how am I going to spend my day tomorrow.

The only thing that has constantly been on my mind is my future and career. I'd like to think that my future will be a rosy picture of wealth, success, health and great relationships. But that's everybody's dream. Is there enough 'luck' and job opportunities to go around? And there are like a million intelligent intellectuals like myself who will be competing to climb the corporate/ social ladder, so what does it take to really succeed?

We've seen success stories, surely, but are we of that calibre to attain something like that as well? What is the probability of success in a highly competitive meritocratic society? If we realise our dreams can't be realised here, does it necessitate a change in surrounding? Is it fair to leave this place where we learnt so much and where our lives took place entirely so far?

How much are we willing to sacrifice our present to achieve an unpromised future?  ¶ 6:41 PM 0 Comments