When we read articles or watch frivolous MTV channel about the glamourous lives of people we all know about, we can't help but to think if they are really happy or was it all a facade for the media? How much fun to be an adult, having cocktails after work and the ability to be spontaneous and not having to report to your parents?

I wonder: what have I been doing all these time? A few years back, I had a purpose (or supposed purpose) everyday: study, get good grades, etc. Now, with no direct motive in life, I wonder what am I supposed to do everyday? What is the reason I should be waking up to every morning? Adults have their jobs to go to, school-goers have, well, school. What is a 20 year old army guy supposed to feel every morning when he wakes up? Like when you've been serving the nation for 1 year plus, the dread and pedestrian routine is really quite a kick in the head.

Some people take this time as a break, some use it to establish contacts and go for courses to improve themselves. I feel like I want to do something useful but I just can't get around doing it. It's tiring to rule your own life sometimes. The need to make your own decisions is occassionally exhausting. Managing your own finances, schedules and time is really a chore, sometimes. Freedom of choice, freedom to grow and learn; is it all that glamourous after all?
  ¶ 6:21 PM