Suffocating It's a torture to be around with him. I hate him so much that it just irks me to even feel his presence; it's disgusting.

On the other hand, I feel so lost when I keep thinking of what to do next. I don't know whether to pull away or take a step forward. Difficult to decide when you can't think clearly and unfortunately, most people are not exactly that capable in forgetting the past. Many resist the changes they need to make while few find the power in themselves to embrace the memories. When people are in need of a sign, they turn to things around them like friends or family. Some even resort to taking up new faiths and loyals to religions. But when you have nothing, or rather no one you can pour your heart to, it is pathetic. Yet, I don't wish to acknowledge this shortcoming of my own which is difficult to overcome. Nevertheless, I believe in the strength of oneself and I know I am powerful. Powerful enough to hold back myself when tears want to flow, when I want to pick up the phone to call you or even just to think of you. I know I can, all I need to do is to convince myself that I am all that I need.  ¶ 12:54 AM